It Looks Like An Eclispe ... Sort Of

Well, it's a start isn't it? What does it matter that the sun still looks black? At least the sky is getting lighter and lighter, which is so much better than a black sky, in the long run.
People are starting to mill about, looking for intelligent stuff to do, I imagine, but I also know that, in reality, they are looking for some kind of hope.
A lot of people have gone from here, who I use to know and love, but the people who are living here now, with the people who decided to stay, migrated here because the place, where they lived got demolished, so whenever we (the local residents) venture out doors, we are very cautious and feel scared, like we are a rat in a cage, so to speak. Until these migrants prove not to be bad people, we will keep our distance from them, for now.
We know that we are being watched by their spy drones, which fly into the area, 5 to 6 times every day. The MPOs decided to use them to help police the populated areas. Some of the other areas, needed more drones, because there are a lot more people to try to keep from getting too far out of hand.
I really never thought that I would be here today, but I think that I am, because I made sure that I stayed on top of everything that was going on, mostly by typing in keywords, on the net, and by visiting the many alternative news sites on the web, for clues as to when the majority of the shit, was going to start hitting the fan and then flying, in all different directions.
I try not to think about my family too much, because I am not allowed to contact anyone from a different state, at this time. The only internet that is available, is the one for people in high places, which I have been lucky enough to contact a few times a month (even though I am not one, who is in high places), so that I can keep, whoever is lucky enough to get on the net now, informed. Especially the other regular people, just like me.
I would like to believe that everything will be as it was a few years ago, even though the economy was heading down a slippery slope back then, only because there were a lot more people on the web, sharing ideas and knowledge, with all the web surfers and forum writers. Now it is very lonely out there in web space, since the people in charge started limiting the web, and shutting down any website, which spoke out against them. Unbeknownst to the web surfers back then, was the fact that the people in charge developed their own web police department, whose only job was to scan the web for possible dissenters, so that when the time came for them to swoop in and shut them down, and take them away on the FEMA train, to a fate worse than you can imagine, it would make their job, so much easier to do.

Please Don't Fence Me In

I don't remember the last time that I felt like I was free, but I do remember that my vocabulary was very limited and that I was more aware of what was on the ground than what was happening above my head. I was a little girl, who loved to spend time by myself more than being around chattering adults, who seemed to be oblivious of me, most of the time, unless I did something unsettling, which would then draw more attention to myself. Sometimes more than I would have liked.
Being a mature adult has been an eye opening experience for me. Many things have changed since I was a child. The weather, the attitudes of people, the need for many shiny new gadgets, like cell phones, for instance. People have become very materialized. Now you can stop me if I am wrong, but isn't that going against, what Jesus was trying to teach, when it came down to peace and happiness? Didn't he go into the temple and protest against all those greedy money people, who succeeded in swaying the people to buy, buy, buy, so that the sellers would become richer, from the poor man's silver. And the people who are suppose to be in charge seem to be the worst, when it comes to being greedy. It makes me wonder, "What would Jesus do about those people? Would he send a message to the top of the chain?" If he did it might say something like this;
Dear Greedy leaders,
If you really are interested in doing right by your people, then you must not forget, why you were put in charge in the first place. You can not keep taking them down into the pits of hell fire, you can not keep treating them like they mean nothing. They are people, just like you are. They are your brothers and your sisters. If you keep heading in the direction that you are heading in, then there will be more dire consequences for you, which will cause all that you have come to know, to come crashing down around you, and you will live in a dark desolate world in misery. No love, No peace, no harmony.
How can you want this? How can you want to live within a world, which prides itself on how much money that you have, compared to how much money that they have? Doesn't this seem like it goes against any kind of teachings that Jesus believed in? So, you have to ask yourself, "If you are a true christian, how can you put your faith into a monetary system, which goes against what your savior believed in?" The conclusion is that you are not really a true christian. You are one of their followers, and they are not real Christians. They are the opposite. So then, what does that say about you?
Now that they have gotten you to follow them, into their greedy deceitful belief system, they are far from finished with dragging you further into the pits of hell, because there are places out there, which they had built, where they can take you, if they choose to do, so that they can force you to do free labor for them. I hear that there are high fences with barbed wire on top, and a cool guard tower, where someone with an automatic weapon can guard you, so that you can't attempt to escape.
And I say to that, "Please don't fence me in, because I am not one of you. I am instead, the angel of light and love. Peace is what leads me to a higher ground. I am one with my savior, because If we lose the light, then we will all be lost in the dark."
You must all free yourselves from your painful debt. Take the road to the higher ground. Save the light. Don't let it burn out. Don't let the creditors sic the debt collectors on you. Change your phone number. If you don't stop this mad cycle now, your children will hate you, when you are old. They didn't cause all this deficit crap, and they shouldn't have to pay for your debt!
Yawn .............. Stretch ................. Wow ... what a dream that was ............................ What was that? It sounded like gun fire outside my window. They must have found another dissenter, who disagrees with the man at the top. Where will they take this person? I wonder ..............

Looking For Rebels

It's been harder to write due to the fact that I have had to be very quiet now, especially during the day because of the Martial Police Officers, or MPO's, making their newly official daily sweeps of the area. I am not sure what they are looking for, but it seems like they are looking for any signs of rebellious crime spree behavior.
I don't venture outside very often now, because I don't want to risk being thought of as a trouble maker. It isn't the same as it use to be, when everyone thought that they were free citizens. I was not as blind about the freedom thing, like a lot of people were, before the first attack was presented, which set off WWIII, because I knew that most of our freedoms, were taken away after the twin towers were taken out. I do agree that this is twenty times worse than how it was, before the aftermath of this war, but as long as you conduct yourself carefully and quietly, you can avoid any unwanted confrontations, with the MPO's, or a dangerous deranged person, or persons, who more than likely are wondering around your neighborhood, with possibly ill intent, because now it is all about survival.
Okay, it is time to blow out the candle and hope that I can get a little more sleep tonight. Till next time, "All I want, is to have my peace of mind."

Here comes the sun

I am feeling some what excited, because the news is, that the sun was spotted rising, which came from a reliable source. The only problem with that, is the sun isn't yellowish orange in color, like it use to be, before disaster struck, it is more like a glowing egg shell color, which makes the water and sky, look purplish blue.
I have been hearing more and more noises outside, barely any gun fire, mostly voices, rumbling sounds, and once in awhile, a high pitched screechy noise, in the distance. I don't know what is causing that noise, so I have been listening for any signs of that noise getting closer, to where I live. I am pretty sure that Marshal Law is still in effect, so I am thinking that the noise might have something to do with those associated, with Martial Law.
Until next time .... "Here comes the sun, and I say, it's alright."

Remembering The Ocean View

I found myself thinking back to the days, before every day life finally came to a halt. I am remembering the ocean view, and the crashing of the waves ... I smile, although the view, is now totally opposite, of how I remember it being before. Anything that needed the ocean to live, is now gone. The water is badly contaminated, caused by the military, firing nuclear missiles at each other, when the war, was at its worse.
I remember walking along the shore line, with my soul mate, and searching for the nicest looking sea shells. I liked to take a few of them back home with me, as a reminder of the time, that we spent together, at the beach. I keep them in the shoe box, with those pictures, of my family and friends. I take them out from time to time. This is one of the ways that I am entertained now, along with some old reading material, that I probably looked at a million and one times, since the beginning of the end.
My candle is burning lower and lower, so I decide to put my shells away, so that I can try to get some much needed rest. Its been a lot harder to do, even though I now have a foam bed, because I have been hearing more and more voices outside lately. Yes, I know that sleep won't come easy, but I also know that I still need to try to sleep anyways, so that I can keep up my stamina, for what is yet to come.
Dreams about cleaner oceans, sea shells, and sandy beaches ,are starting to take over, my subconscious. "Sweet dreams are made of these, who am I to disagree."

Venturing Away From Home

I dared to venture out, for a little while today. I needed to see if things, were starting to change, for the better.
I stayed close to my home base, because I knew that I would be safer, if I did that.
The sky is still dark, but it is starting to look like a midnight blue color. Blue is my favorite color, so that's cool.
I came across an abandoned bulldozer, about a half a block from my home base. I decided to climb up on it, and sit in its seat.
I don't hear very much gun fire anymore. This means that, we are finally on our way to living, without as much fear, as we have been living with, since the wars broke out, state by state. We were not the first state to start fighting. I think that it was either Illinois, which started in Chicago, or Los Angeles, California ...
I lost track of the A.M. / P.M. thing, several months ago, so I have no idea, if it is day, or night time ... that's one thing, I wish I didn't lose track of, but anyways, it doesn't really matter now, because time, is a thing of the past.
It still smells like garbage burning, but it's not as strong as it was six months ago. A lot less smoke floating around in the air now.
I hear voices, in the near distance, time to go back to my home base, before they get much closer, to me here.
Jump down, stay low to the ground, scurry fast. Home base, several locks ... voices getting closer, last one .... okay, I am in.

Supply And Demand

I could find no connection to the internet world, for about a week, because of bad storms, crackling all around the place, but on a brighter note, my much needed supplies, finally showed up the other day.
Within the box of supplies were, four plastic gas jugs, filled with fuel, for the generator. It also included, four foam pads, and one memory foam (full size). Now I won't need to sleep in that chair anymore, because I built myself a bed, with a bunch of big sized black plastic storage boxes, which those foams fit on top of, like a glove. I sleep underneath three thick comforters, because without the bright light from the sun, warming the earth, it gets to be very very cold, when it is time for me to get some sleep.
The word from out there, is that the west side has been sealed off, from the east side, because a lot more of them, have died from, heavy gun fire. The east side is definitely winning this battle. I am glad that I live on the east side. I look forward to the day, when I can safely, go for a walk, and ride my bike again. Soon, my friends, soon.
There is more brown rice and fresh garlic, in the new box of supplies. A little bit of rice, and a lot of raw garlic, fills me up, and protects me from infections. Ever since we all lost our government health care, because the insurance companies financially collapsed, not to long after, the new health care reform was passed. We hope that we won't get sick now, because we can't afford prescription drugs, or doctors, or hospitalization. Not like it was much better, when some of us had it, and the rest of us didn't have it. All those fines adding up ... not good, not good at all.

I Silently Wait By The Door

I thought about giving up today, I wait by the door ...
My supply guy, is running behind.
I need to find my night vision goggles, I start crawling around on the floor...
The voice in my head says, be kind, please rewind.
I feel my night vision goggles, underneath my hand ...
They still work, which eases my mind.
I walk to the window, I stop and then I stand ...

I begin to focus on the darkness, outside the dirty glass
Everything is green, night vision is kind of cool to see ...
What do I see in the distance, it's some kind of mass
The closer it gets, I realize it is coming for me

I silently wait by the door ....

Bicycles And Chairs

I smile today, because I still have my bicycles, and a comfy chair to sit on, and also sleep in. I haven't had a real bed, for a long time. Truth is, I don't know, if I will ever be able to sleep on a real bed again, because I have finally gotten use to sleeping in that comfy office chair.
I still can't ride my bike, safely outside yet, because I still hear gun fire, in the distance. Luckily there are burglar bars on my windows. I re-enforced the locks, on my front door, before everything went dark.
I keep myself entertained by writing, whenever I can, when I get the server to run on generator power, and I can pick up a wireless signal, Yes, there are still wireless signals out there, for the very rich people to use, whenever they need to. When I can't do that, then I read books, or I write down my thoughts in a note book, that I saved, just for that occasion. I am limited with how much I can read or write, because I need to conserve my candles. I save the generator power for bigger tasks.
I continue to smile, because I am still able to live, even during this time of darkness. I also smile, because I should be getting a new message from my true love, via messenger, sometime soon. I will also get a new supply of drinking water. I put an order in for water, the last time my messenger was here.

Faded Memories

It seems like a long time ago. It was a time of uncertainty. No time to pick and choose, what to keep, or what to let go.
I have only a shoe box of memories. My mind has only faded memories. Memories of good times, and bad.
I can't be with you anymore. I can't even be with myself sometimes. So, I take out the shoe box, and sift through the pictures. Your smiling innocent little faces, bring tears to my eyes, and I smile back at you.
The windows are dirty, on the outside. No matter how much I clean them on the inside, the outside dirt remains.
I start to think about my one true love, and I begin to smile. He was my mentor, my best lover, my only true friend. He took them on, like a mighty warrior, he said that he would return for me, when things shifted into our favor. I will continue to wait for him.
It is time to make something to eat, even though I am never very hungry anymore. I have enough food supplies, to keep me sustained for at least a year, a year and a half, if I cut my rations down a bit, which I do more often, than not.
There is a song playing in my head now, "imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can?, no need for greed, or hunger, a brotherhood of man. Imagine all the people, sharing all the land." "you may say, i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one. I hope some day you'll join us, and the world will live as one."

Tell Me That I Will Be Okay

The shadows on the wall, were looking like they were growing.
The darkness, is still lingering. My light comes from candles.
I made them, before everything went very bright. I trade them for food and water, when my supplies start to dwindle. They are in the shape of mushrooms. I paint them with food coloring.
Now, if we could just make our own matches ....
Speaking of matches, I have so many match books ... I only use one or two matches a day. Need to conserve. Never know, when the light, will come back...
And you thought that this, would be all about the strange girl, who wanted to help me ... well, it's about matches and candles, something that you can never have enough of. Except for me, of course :)
Oh, and about that strange girl. I just wanted someone to tell me, that I will be okay, and she could not :(

The First Knock

Listen ... thump, thump, thump ... Is that a knock at my door, or, is it only my imagination.
Suddenly I hear a girl's voice ... "Hello? Hello?", she says, while still knocking, at my door.
At first I stay silent, then I hear her say, "Please, if someone is in there, open this door and let me in. I am here to help you to, learn how to survive."
I then ask her, "who are you?" She then answers, "I am from a time, before all of those disaster, came to pass."
I ask her, "oh yeah, and you are here now, from another time, and I am suppose to believe that?" And she answers, " yes, because I traveled here, so that I could specifically, help you."
I then decide to open the door... I gasp. She looks like she has been in an accident, half of her face is messed up. I ask her, "what happened to you? Are you hurt?" she answers," no, I'm not hurt. This happened to me, during the experimental phase, of time travel, but please, don't be afraid, I am an ancestor of yours. I may look a little scary, but I am not, what you call, a scary person. I am not here to hurt you."
I motion for her to come inside ......

I Don't Want To Stop Dreaming

I woke up, in another dream. I am sitting in my favorite office chair, in front of my computer, holding my remote mouse ... the desk top screen is looking, like it was glued onto my monitor, and my favorite, cartoon cat, is hanging on for dear life ...
I see my skin as being photosynthetic , I know that it isn't right ... needs to be pinker, with a touch of egg shell ....
I miss my electronics ... so yeah, now I am forced to live in the 70's again ... yes, again. Who are you to judge me? I am nothing, but a part of the grander picture, as you are. Our life forces were, all connected to one another ...
Then there were, bursts of radiation, coming out of the sky, showering down on us, like heavy rain storms, taking out any electrical field, that was in its path ... my path was disrupted, as it was for the other paths around me.
I am writing this from my lap top, it's hooked up to a generator, which can only be run for short periods of time ... I keep it in a locked shed, with barbed wire fencing, all around it, at least 6 feet high ...
My dream is starting to come to an end, things are starting to get wavy, but I don't want to go back to reality. I don't want to stop dreaming.
Oh damn, I wake up again, in the outer dream world to; no light, no running water, no safe food to eat, no clean air to breathe. The only thing to do again, is to lay here, and wait till I can fall asleep ... again. I close my eyes, and think, when will it end, (the darkness), when will it end?

Zombies On My Roof Top

I am alone today, just like any other day, no one is around. The silence is deafening.

Thump ... thump ... What was that noise, that I suddenly just heard? I wonder to myself, who or what is out there? The noise is coming from above my ceiling.

Again I hear, Thump ... Thump. The noise is starting to become more unsettling. I wonder if I should go out there and start investigating it, or if I should stay here inside my safe room, where I can lock myself in, until the noise stops.

With that thought, even though I don't really know what that noise is, I still wish that I could go outside again, without being afraid of the constant blasts of Radiation from the Radioactive Solar showers, and also the fact that it is still very bright outside, and that most of the time, I can hardly see my hand in front of my face.

The Radiation seems to take its toll on healthy people too because my skin is now all red and blotchy, and my hair is dry and thin, probably because I went outside to soon, to look for anyone who might still be alive.

Like a fool, I thought that my health would only be suffering from the fall out from the Nukes, but of course, I was wrong.

The Radioactive Solar showers are proving to be just as bad, or even worse at times, only because they haven't stopped happening yet.

At least if it would have only been nuclear, the fallout effects from it would have stopped happening, in a few months or so, after the last bomb was launched toward us.

I also wouldn't still be cooped up inside of my shoe box sized apartment, without much to keep me entertained, because I would be able to go outside again, for more than just a short period of time.

There are no working Computers, or cell phones, no more watching TV, and no more video games to play. The electricity no longer works. Cars won't start, and even if they did, the digital gas pumps won't work.

There are barely any survivors, and those people who did survive, and were affected the worst, I call them 'Zombies', and I think that I may have a few of them on my roof top, as I am writing this.

Reflections Of A Black And White Star

There she was, standing by the window, reflecting her thoughts, drowning out her sorrows, looking better than she ought to, at this age. Never able to fit in, with people in her age group, with how they conduct their lives. Her spirit, will not allow that to happen.
It is like she is losing her grip on reality, thinking that she is still 30 something.
She wonders if she is really someone, who comes from a higher being, who lives on some bright star. Who is some how keeping her mind in a younger state, and she is then able to understand the younger generations, well, not so much this latest one, but only because of how they are being taught in school, compared to how she was. No more critical thinking, nothing past the mind numbing ps3, or wii games, and more games. Don't worry to much though kiddies, I am sure that you can become walmart greeters, which doesn't require critical thinking, just a friendly smile and a sales flier.

It Has Gone Nook Lee Errrrr

I walk a long a sleepless highway. The air smells like the stench from a smoldering fire. I feel like I am getting covered with a hot snow.
What is this, I wonder, its not cold like snow, but it looks like snow.
There hasn't been any sign of another person for days. I search endlessly for some other person, walking along this road, but no one seems to exist, but me .... "HELLO .... IS ANYBODY OUT THERE!," I shout. Shhhhh listen, did you hear that? I hope the sound is not in my head, due to loneliness.....
Please give me your answer soon, I don't want to be alone anymore.

Ok ... I Can make This Work ........

Riding my bike, in the bright sunlight,
thinking of you, while I take in the sights.
I can't wobble, I can't fall
Did that once, I didn't like it at all.

How far can I go, I don't know,
Need to remember, to take it slow.
The sun is very hot, I am almost home,
my skin is red, so what, leave me alone.

Oh my sunscreen, what have you done to me?

I feel like I am on fire ... under the sunscreen.
Oh, how can I go on like this, I wonder ...
Who will look at me now, with this light my fire, kind of look?
My chain is glued to my chest ... can't pull it off.
Why did I think that sunscreen was a good thing?
Those damn commercials, I think ...
Read the label ... where is the warning?
Skin is delicate ... sun is hot ... don't forget to put on SPF 15!!!
Don't leave home without it.

Talking about that alien gray person .....

I saw her ... she was gray ... an alien gray. She looked like a person, but she was gray. I wanted to say something to her, but I was afraid, not afraid of her, even though she was gray, I was afraid that she could talk like me.

I hesitate some more ... she is getting ready to go ... I start to walk toward the door ... she turns around and smiles at me ... I turn my head to the side and pretend not to see ...... and poof the alien gray is gone .......................

Bright Lights Burning Through My Window

The sun is suppose to be good... the sun is suppose to be great...

She was happy back then, back when she was in the dark, so to speak, about how deadly the sun really was, to her health and well being.

It's getting hotter now... she is beginning to feel like she is starting to melt, like a wax figure of some, so called (worthy) celebrity, who some how, was left out in the hot rays, of the California sun.

Not in my life time

When you hear some one say that the earth will be swallowed up by water, you will say, 'not in my life time.' I am not in total agreement with that statement, when it pertains to, whether or not, a tsunami will hit the east coast, possibly within a matter of months. I say, "Quick, lets all move away from the east coast, and start heading west!"
We can all smile, and pretend that everything is going to be alright, and keep hoping that no mega disasters, will ever happen in our life times, so that we can all live till a ripe old age.
We can't be stressing over what might, or might not happen. We need to keep our delusional minds churning full speed ahead.
But, if you do plan on staying... I say, "Don't forget to stock up on those floating devices!" ........

She is hopeful and passionate

She hopes for a better future, and is passionate that her dreams will still be attainable, after the economic collapse is finally under control ...

There is still a glimmer of hope in her eyes... but will it last?

The girl is wasting away from genetically manipulated foods

She is one with the fire